I just finished watching an episode of a series called “I don’t know I’m pregnant” or something to that effect. It was on TLC I believe. Ok, so for those who don’t know, I have a severe phobia of being preganant…actually its more like giving birth. It’s the combination of excruciating pain and fear that I don’t have the strength to push a child out of me. Even a C-section isn’t ideal since when was the last time anyone favoured getting cut open to take out a bring from inside you. The biggest aspect of my fear is that I’m afraid that I’ll die during or post labour, leaving my child and/or husband alone in this world. I understand the likelihood of such events to be incredibly small but one can’t help but worry.
My fear of pregnancy is so severe that when I was very young and I missed a period, I worried that I might be pregnant even though I had never had sex, concluding that I must have been raped or something unknowingly. (crazy, i know) That severity hasn’t changed much as I grew up. I distinctly recall a time when I had my period, missed it and still freaked out intensely about being pregnant. If pregnancy tests didn’t cost so much, if they were as cheap as $5, I’d probably continuously check on my fertile status.
Now if that wasn’t enough, we can add on the idea that one may not know if one is pregnant and then suddenly pop a baby out. How is that even possible? It seems to unfathomable to me to not know for 9 months that there is something growing inside of you, that your physical exterior and habits have changed. Now that’s one extreme unplanned pregnancy. I always just thought that was a possibility but now that I’ve seen examples, you can bet I’ll have one more irrational things to stress about. Thanks t.v. , you always know just how to perk me up.
If you’re like me then I suggest you watch this with caution…