Monthly Archives: October 2009

20 years to life…

Some say there’s something magical about a birthday, that a birthday encompassed everything hopeful, fun, and happy about one’s life. I don’t think I share this enthusiasm for birthdays. In fact, I think the last time I truly enjoyed my birthday is when I was 10. That was probably the last time I could appreciate the simplicity of a birthday.

I turn 20 today and to me, that’s something incredibly significant. More so than many of my birthdays before and probably more so than the ones to come. I officially leave behind my teen years. I’m sure for some, this seems like a tragic event but not for me. I’m far more sad about adding another year than the event of turning 20 itself. I never really did enjoy my teen years anyway. It was awkward and uncomfortable, stressful and depressing. I spent more time prepping to be an adult and ensuring that I grew up properly to truly enjoy the process. And now it’s gone, disappeared forever. I think I stopped wanting to grow up a few years back, life’s reponsibilities sank in really deep and I was too worried I would no longer succeed. I suppose I can’t avoid it now.

In so many ways, I don’t think I’ve ever grown up. I’m still dealing with a lot of the same issues I did when I was a child, a pre-teen and then a teen. Nothing ever changed except my to-do-list grew longer and my bills increased. I’m still afraid of the same things, still worried that I’m not everything I could be.

My birthday no longer seems special, in my eyes and in the eyes of others. It lost its lustre and its demand to be announced worldwide. It’s already noon and my parents have yet to wish me happy birthday. That’s how sad it’s really gotten and I have the feeling that if I don’t go on Skype, they’ll forget entirely. Things like that put a damper on one’s birthday.

I stopped celebrating after18. Now I just sit at home and wait for the next day to come, like every other day of my life. To be honest, I would have forgotten that my birthday was coming up if it hadn’t been for a friend of mine who asked me what I had planned. It seems a shame that life gets so busy sometimes, that you end up forgetting to commemorate the time passing.

I don’t mean to sound so depressing on my birthday. I’m not as completely bummed out as it appears. I’ve always believed that your 20s were the most  fabulous time in life. You’ve got money to spend, freedom from parents, enough life experience to avoid getting killed or lost, your body is developed and there are no more surprises in that department…overall, you’ve finally gotten control of your life. Here’s hoping that my life continues down the path that best suits me. I don’t want to stress about the future. I just want to live and be happy.

Another year gone and past…what will next year bring.



Weekend Recap

I wanted to write a quick summary of my weekend events as I don’t want to forget. After a long thursday, I was forced to stay up to do more reading for my philosophy assignment. After finished, I collapsed into bed hoping that the next day I would wake up early and finish it in time to hand in. Well as luck would have it I slept in, until about 11 and since I had originally planned to take the 3pm bus, I had to postpone until the 5pm bus.

After a semi-frantic morning spent cleaning up, packing and writing about 600 words for my paper, I admitted defeat and told myself I would just work on it on the bus and hand it in via online. Well I wrote about 1000 words on the bus ( the paper limit) and decided to play some online games instead of finishing the last edited version of the paper, still speaking from my procrastination side saying that I would have time to finish it later. As it turns out, by the time I got home from my bus ride it was 8:30, I was starving and my family have a feast of blue crabs ready for eating. By the time we were done that it was almost 9:30 and I was ready to call it quits and make do with a deduction for a late hand in. But I buckled down and finished it at 11:35, 20 mins before the final due date. Whether it was any good? That has still yet to be seen. I spent the rest of the night playing online games, watching t.v. reruns and all around lazing lol.

Saturday I woke up at 9 despite having gone to bed only at 4:30. There’s always many things to be done around the house so I helped assemble a bookshelf, move furniture around, redecorate the house, dust around the house and rearrange books. By the time we were done, my family was starving, so we went to one of my favourite restaurants for some good eats (see food blog for details) and then off to ikea for cheap ice cream/frozen yogurt and retrieving a missing part for the bookshelf. The rest of the afternoon was spent grocery shopping, finish cleaning up and eating some more good food. =)

Sunday was my mother’s 4_th birthday. I can never remember how old she’s turning. In my mind, she’s perpetually stuck at 42 and loves me when I tell her that. My parents woke up early to cook the prime rib that I had prepped the night before and I woke up to my sister yelling at me to get ready. I went downstairs to check on the food as I had forgotten to tell them some instructions. Luckily, I’m an improvisational cook (or in other words, one who doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time) so crisis was averted and I made up new instructions on how to finish it off. We were off to church and arrived back in time to get everything prepared for the lunch party we were throwing. Tons of good food which can also be viewed in the food blog. An overall success.

I slipped away from the party in hopes of packing which I did partially before falling asleep to the sound of a movie playing. I woke up in time to finish off packing, eat a little more food and say goodbye before heading out to catch the 6pm bus back to Kingston.

The Coach Canada bus was completely packed. I don’t think I’ve seen it so full on a non-special weekend. If I hadn’t come early, I think I would have probably ended up as one of those who get left behind. I felt so bad for them but I couldn’t afford to not catch that bus. Besides, I don’t think anyone anticipated for it to get that full on a regular weekend. After I got home, I unpacked as luggage consisted basically of food and I went to bed.

That was my lovely visit back home. Won’t be back until end of november.

drowing in a sea of pixellated dust

Oh man, I finally got around to uploading all the photos from the last week or so and have not found the drive to post them all on here. There’s just so many to go through and edit. I’ll probably sit here all night attempting to do it just because I refuse to sleep until this is done and yet probably still won’t do them. Regardless of how self-aware I am, itts sad that I still refuse to change. =)


Because I know I’ve been lacking the past week on blog entries (and since this doesn’t really require photo updates) let’s do a quick recap on life last week.

Sat was spent cleaning up the house. I was thoroughly exhausted from lack of sleep the past night. I woke up, got dressed and ready for Yearbook training at 2 but ended up cutting a piece of skin on my nose with a hang nail. I couldn’t risk freaking everyone out whilst in my bloody mess so ran back home to tend to it. Luckily it managed to stop bleeding in time for the second half of training so I went to that. After that I went straight to the bus station to pick up A. I was so tired that as a welcoming, I cried for no reason in his arms. Greeeeat I know. After that went to Panda Garden Buffet because I was too tired and had no food at home anyways. And the rest of the night is history.

To be perfectly honest, the rest of that week went by like a blur. Between emailing people about apartments, fighting with my parents about apartments, cooking for my other blog, cleaning, running errands, buying my mother flowers, studying for my midterm and working on my assignments, it gets really hard to remember the specifics. All I care about now is hoping that I did well enough on that midterm and that my essay wasn’t that horrible but I won’t get those results until a while from now. There was very little sleep especially at the end of the weekemd, that’s for sure. So here’s hoping that this week is much better. I think that’s all I want to cover.

Special note: Oct 19th was nice. cooking, watching movies, cleaning. a very chill day, spent exactly how I want to.